Interpretation

I am sitting right now in my hot, humid room, staring at the house in front of me. Something inside me forces me to look up and see the sun, setting slightly into the background. The whole sky is pink, slightly. Like a beginning of a climax, it teases you, wrinkles your senses and mind into a temptation, a want, a longing for the whole thing to just come upon you, devour you – the sunset. Sometimes you want to touch it, but some beauty is untouchable. Sometimes you want to be part of it, but some wishes are never to be. So you get mad at it, at this beauty, in confusion to what you are supposed to do with it. You can’t touch it, you can’t hold it and it hurts to love it from so far away. Sometimes you wonder, does it enjoy my beauty as much as I enjoy its? Nature is such a peculiar thing. A nature of a thing, aren't we all of one nature? My eyes then shift to a calendar hanging beside the window. Its pages are still turned to April. Do I live in the past? In my past emotions, events, emotions of those events? Do I drag on my life, expecting things to be the way they were, because once you pass a certain concept, you only start to cherish its existence once it perishes? Like childhood naps, everyone hated them – what a perfectly good waste of a sunny day, one would think. And now, you only wish you had enough time for one. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.. Did you ever wonder why the days of the week were named the way they were? And who officially names them? What a funny thing to think, I just love how people decide on the “rules” of a language, when initially it all just happened almost spontaneously…

And that is my thought of the day… a depressing thought, really. I thought of a much better thought today though :) Read on if you care enough ;)

I was talking to myself in the mirror, yes, that often happens if you ask… Well no, not really, what is even more funny is that I’m imagining myself talking with an English accent as I am writing this, don’t ask silly questions… off coarse I’m not insane!

Anyway, and so I was thinking, that this life really has nothing bad in it for you. It is not a dungeon of torture, as previously was thought or often is thought, it is all up to your interpretation. You see, our experiences are all subject to the following:
- Our perceptions
- Our mindset part of the perception
- The actual experience
Looking at our psychology, to understand a situation a person must first physically experience it, and that is dependant on the actual sensual experience – which again would be different for everybody. But more importantly, it is also subject to the momentary mind set that the person has and is in at the moment of the experience and more specifically – at the moment of interpretation of that experience. This mind set acts as a net, or as a thing you wash fruit in – sieve? Yes, anyway, it leaves things in it – for further interpretation or memory – whatever you personally choose to leave in it. And it is important to not forget that the mindset that the person is in, is perfectly under their own control – so if they are sad, it is their choice to come out of that sadness… if they are happy, well, that’s great :) So the person, then, will understand their experience, primarily depending on their mind set, because it sieves it! If you are upset, everything around you will seem upsetting, it is not necessarily that you are attracting these negative things to yourself, which could also take place, but primarily it is your perception/understanding/i

interpretation of the surroundings that is telling you that it is upsetting you, it probably is not even the case. So, conclusion! Be aware of your own mindset, because it will bias your interpretation of everything. If you are aware of it, and how it is that it is biasing, you can change it ;)

Just trying to make your interpretation of life taste a little sweeter ;)
Uuu here is another verse that will make you a tad happier:
I love you! :)

Have a great day! :)

Look at a Flower :)

Did you ever look at a flower? It is like it has a little piece of soul in each of its petals, each one bending silently and at its own will, some with more confidence, others with a little more humility. Some have just a little bit of a sharper colour, bringing in original beauty to the entire picture. Such beauty, frozen in a little bit of time, just as its life is – soon being overcome by death. Yet, nothing bad in that, another will take its place with even more beauty and the previous will never even be missed, and was it even noticed? Such colour, personality… reflecting its every gene, not afraid to share it with the world.
Sometimes I wish I could be a creator. To make something so beautiful, timeless, like a life… In a way I am, I guess.. even though this ability is limited only to my life…

Taken by Geoffrey Sleight

CAMERA PHOTO SHOOT

: http://www.cameraphotoshoot.com/carnation-aa.JPG

Unhappy Times

Hello World!

Here I stand before you, broken hearted. Not in any hope of redemption, but with a face of humility. My colour is red, my heart is bleeding and my eyes are pure, looking down at the forgotten earth, sucking at my last strength. I don’t know what you want of me, world. I don’t understand your rules, your grounds, but I feel your punishment, the stone around my neck, bringing me down to my blooded knees, humility. I might as well stand naked before all of you, saying these words – it won’t change how I feel inside, it won’t even add a drop to it. Do I want to change? No. I’m tired of expected change. I don’t feel the wrong, I don’t see the wrong, all I feel is your laughter and your put downs. You are drenching me, world... in disgust towards myself. Surprised? Why? It has always been this way. And not just with me, with every living thing on this earth. You laugh at our short lives, at our mistakes, at our lack of courage to survive. You laugh at our misunderstandings, and we just stand there and cry… because you are too big, world, we can’t stand up to you… You hold too much against us. What is the point, if we are all so sinful, we suffer from these sins as we go along due to the guilt they create in us – and what next, more hell? Is this what you do to us world? You give us birth, and use our lives for your pleasure in sadism. Too bad that you are the judge of your own court, and I’m just an innocent bystander looking up at you with eyes full of loss. But I don’t ask for your pity. I don’t need it. I hold enough pity within me to get through the day… I don’t ask, really, anything of you… I’m just a silly marionette tied to your decisions, and your dirty pleasures. Why do you give birth to us and let us live in pain, while allowing ourselves to know that we are in pain? Or was that what the apple was for? To let us live in ignorance, while you played with us in your games of sadism?
I don’t know then, if I am even sorry that she took a bite of it…

http://www.islamfrominside.com/images/Humility.jpg

A Little Something Inspirational

I have heard a story on the radio today, which I found to be a little inspiring at least for the moment being. :) Hope you will enjoy it as much as I did.

There were two friends. One day during their hike in the woods one was swept away by the heavy waves of a river and ended up being saved by his friend. At the place where he was saved, he carved in stone, " Here, Moosa saved the life of his friend." Years later, the two friends were passing by the same spot and ended up in a quarrel, and the same friend that was once saved on this spot was punched to the face by the friend that saved him. And so he wrote in sand, "Here, Moosa broke my heart." A while later, another friend asked him why did he write the good thing in stone and the bad thing in sand? And he answered, so that the memory of him saving my life would not fade away as if carved in stone, and the hurt would be washed away before even the waves get to it. :)

Another one,

The Knock-Out Human

I have come upon this show once, it was late at night, and it was a show where they were interviewing singles (those using online dating and such) of why they were still single. However, all these people they interviewed were over 30, and maybe even 40 and older.. Questions included: Why do you think you are not married yet, etc... Do you blame bad luck, and as such - people looked back at their life and answered those questions. There was absolutely nothing wrong with these people, they just never found that perfect someone.

However, what absolutely intrigued me about this show is the arising thought of pointlessness about life, to which all these different, very different people came to concluding. There was no happiness, no longing for anyone, it was as if they were starved of positive emotion and hope. These people weren't depressed, not all of them. Many had extended family and friends, but just no wife or husband.. Many were very rich, and had random dates here and there, many were attractive both outside and inside... but they never found anyone to love and to trust. Hearing these words ( and they weren't directly talking to the interviewer, I think it was something like a video journal kind of thing) hearing these words, made me understand something about this life, I guess.

Lack of purpose. There was no more purpose... They were happy, they had careers, etc... but no love. There was no love in their life, and from that they all concluded that there was no purpose. This specific conclusion is what intrigued me. The powerlessness that I caught in their eye, I felt this weakness about them.. as if they were ill. As if they were like a long outstretched plant reaching towards the sky for sunshine that never came.. Its a little scary. To be alone and to not be loved. They felt scared. Imagine not being loved, by anybody, ever, no one to trust your life with, no one to watch you live your life.. there is some discomfort to it. See the thing why young singles don't really feel this way is because they still have hope and knowledge that they will someday find someone, and this hope is what these people have lost, they don't even look anymore, they just gave up.
Hm, one woman was talking about having children. And how life was pointless without having a family. Another man always wanted to have children, from very early on in his life, and his wife or girlfriend didn't want any and so she left him, and he was alone from then on.
Sad stories, I guess.. but then the question in my head arises - why is it like that? Why do we want purpose? Why do we end up finding it in family and love? Why does love provide us with purpose? As lovely and comfortable as it is, how is it that we cannot function without it? We just get stuck somewhere in the middle, unable to bulge because - its as if love functions as the machine oil in the hardware of our brains, or at least our lives.
And yet one can never name this thing. At the beginning of a life, we all want to have it. We want to receive it and take it. We want the attention, the care, the softness, the safety, the trust and whatever else that love can represent. Its what allows us to tell ourselves, OK, its OK to go on, everything is fine.
Somewhere in the middle of our lives we learn that its just as beautiful to give love as to receive it, and we start giving, to our children (especially with new mothers) then to grandchildren, eventually you receive enough love from life that you start giving, it doesn't really matter how late or early your realization comes to you. And this circle becomes complete. The person feels complete, as if they "did their duty"
But why do we have that feeling? Is it something inborn in us, selected for through natural selection to allow for survival? Is it really? To the extent that we see purpose in it? Purpose in such a silly thing as love? That seems to be just an emotion?
I feel like this was one of those experiments, like in genetics, "the knock out" where you create the "knockout mouse" that doesn't express a certain gene, to see how that gene functions and what it does.
Well, I guess here you can consider this as one of those experiments. The knockout human, where love was the gene, and the outcome wasn't death but lack of purpose. Judging by the people in this "show", I think it could be questionable which is worse...

Beyond Perfection

I would like to pull you into the oblivion of perfection. Into a world surrounded by limits and bounds of this word, perpetuating infallible infinity in our minds, inventing reason to cover for its inexistence in reality, and yet only in our minds…
But then again, you already live in this world.
“Beyond Perfection” was written on the purple bottle of nail polish that I decided not to use. Apart from discretely opposing the name’s aim for this colour, I, also discretely, started to object its full intention.
Perfection, perfection that is all that this world expects from us, from all sides from all angles, from different degrees and at different velocities. Perfection in colour, in sound, in speech – be that of personality, your tie or the next step you take on that dance floor. Perfection seems to be in everybody and in nobody at the same time, with an almost identical unidentifiable face as love. Everyone striving to get it, some seem to have it, and yet no one can recognize what it is when they’ve actually got it. Perfection is impossible to strive for, because striving for perfection already makes you imperfect. Does it really exist? Well, that is what our reason so wishfully tries to tell us by stretching its concepts to that of infinity. Is that what perfection is? The bound of a certain quality, the limit of it? The tedious stretch of the bubble-gum concept to that of infinity in as far as our mind can reach? It doesn’t seem like it… we don’t like to think of perfection in that way… but at the same time we love to make God perfect. God seems to indulge in these qualities, only limited by our own mind, the same qualities we apply to God as those that we have ourselves, and yet there seems to be this foreign thing about them – making them special – perfection, infinity… both of which seem to be unreachable by ourselves, and this making them even more special. We love God, he has something that we could never have... perfection… and yet, when our neighbor has it – when we even see a little bit of it in others – we die of vein. Why? The question “why” is not recognizable by science anymore, its improper, it’s a stupid question leading to no answers… a “stupid” question.
We only look at facts, and facts tell us of our feeling of envy and of our strive to the impossible.
But how is it that we have connected infinity with the impossible? That’s not valid. So, maybe perfection then is possible, maybe not that of God, but to other qualities.
Sure, lets make it possible, just for you, just to make you happy – so you wouldn’t think that you are striving to nowhere – to an oblivion. ;)
… going back to study now )) so maybe one day I could reach my own unreachable level of perfection, even if only in my mind ;)